Stovetop macaroni for the lactose intolerant
Okay so this is a recipe for stovetop macaroni, with broccoli in it. It is maybe the most “food for Lad” imaginable (is Lad the name of the husband of the food network lady, you know, the one whose family probably did a bunch of the Osage murders? I forget.) in that it is mostly cheese, but also has broccoli for your hungry boys who otherwise would never eat a vegetable (fiber is a little… you know…. …). Despite that, it’s really good. It’s not what I was really wanting, which was Dwayne’s mom’s baked mac and cheese, but it is also significantly easier.
Was I just, a month or two ago, railing against one pot foods? Yes. Yes I was. Maybe mac and cheese is different? I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s necessarily easier than another version where you don’t cook the noodles in the milk (in fact it requires a bit more babysitting), but I do think it has some benefits (mainly this allows you to evaporate your own milk, and they don’t make lactose free evaporated milk, which, all things being equal, makes the superior stovetop mac.)
Here is a recipe for stovetop mac and cheese (with broccoli) that can be eaten and enjoyed even by those of us who are sadly lactose intolerant. I know, because I have now tested this twice and it didn’t make my tummy hurt at all.
This is based on the recipe from the NYT cooking, with only the slightest of alterations. The original recipe had too much milk and water and not enough cheese.
Lactose intolerant stovetop mac
(serves two)
Half a bag (8 ounces) elbow noodles (or other shape)
1 3/4 cup lactose free whole milk
5-6 ounces cheese (I used a mix of: extra sharp white cheddar, ancient dried out red cheddar, fontina, pecorino, and a tablespoon or so of chèvre) (at least a cup, a cup and a half or so is better)
10 ounce broccoli (small-medium head) broken up into little florets
3/4-1 tsp kosher salt
black pepper
1/4 tsp ground mustard
little bit of garlic powder (few good shakes?)
Tip for broccoli: I like to break broccoli into florets by using the tip of my knife to flick off progressively smaller pieces. It is fun and it doesn’t make such a huge mess as hacking up a head of broccoli, but mostly it feels really gratifying.
Grate cheese. I used the smaller section for the fontina and pecornio. I think if I saw someone use the big section of grater on pecorino I might get hives.
Add: noodles, salt, milk, pepper, mustard and garlic powder to a pan (I really liked my saucier for this, but a 2 quart saucepan is fine) add maybe another half cup of water. You don’t want the noodles covered, so really use your judgement. Being too wet will fuck this up big time (classic one pot pasta problem). Bring to a boil stirring frequently. Once at a boil add broccoli, keep stirring. Cook until done (for me this was about 8 minutes? your pastas may be different!). You want to cook the liquid down significantly but not entirely. You will need some milk in order to make the sauce. Basically: swimming noodles are bad, but dry noodles…. also bad. If it seems to be getting too dry add a bit more water.
Once cooked, add the cheese in handfuls, stirring until it is fully melted. Dinner is served. If, just hypothetically, you are making dinner for your roommate who is out with your really really slow dog and dinner is done well before one of you gets back and it gets cold, turn the heat back to low, and add more water, stirring until it re-saucifies. This works surprisingly well!