It's just a rethinking of how society works (over breakfast)
Oh happy father's day lol
Even before the murder of George Floyd, and the uprisings that followed, I had been struggling to write, because of the serious-ness of coronavirus, and the impact I could see it having on the city around me. After his murder, what I had to say became even less imperative.
I write about myself, it’s all I really know how to do, and writing about myself in the middle of a pandemic, in the middle of yet another uprising about the murder of black people at the hands of the police, seems, to be honest, fucking stupid.
We’re supposed to use our platforms to advance justice, but my platform is my newsletter that gets sent to like, 50 people. What do I say? I believe in abolition. I have been doing mutual aid work since I recovered from covid, because I know that abolition is not overnight. I am not an expert in anything, but instead, I will share with you my thoughts on abolition, in the hopes that if you are on the fence, I, as someone who lost my father due to a crime, can help change your mind.
To build an abolitionist society, a society free from prisons, you first have to build community. You have to work in your community, and build systems of support, and trust, so that when someone needs help, or when someone wrongs another person, there can be real accountability, real healing, and real support.
I had thought about abolition a little before my father was killed, and if anyone asked, I would have said yes, absolutely, I was for it. It was only after he died, and I had my own limited involvement in the criminal punishment system, that I started to really realize what abolition needed.
The woman who killed my dad committed a felony, I have no idea what her punishment was. She did not mean to kill my father, it was an accident. Accident is the word we use when we cannot prove intent, and in the system that we currently have, so steeped in protestantism, intent is key. You cannot prove that an officer set out to murder Breonna Taylor, and so there is no “crime.”
(I would argue: if you become a cop in this system, aren’t you setting out to commit murder? Isn’t that, at least a bit, your intent? This is not how the government sees it.)
But the focus on intent provides nothing to those who have been wronged. Regardless of whether the woman who killed my dad meant to, she did. Regardless of what she set out to do that morning, I have no father anymore. Would not true justice set out to meet my needs as well?
If anyone had asked me what I needed from the state after my dad was killed, what would I have said? Certainly not that she should be in prison, or that she should get probation, which ruins people’s lives. What I would have said is that I needed the state to work to repair the conditions that lead to my dad’s death. His death happened at her hands, yes, but it was caused by the state. Every road death is preventable, but the state does not choose to prevent them.
To me, abolition is about creating a world in which these systems exist to prevent harm, not to possibly (although often not) punish someone after the fact. It is not just road deaths that are preventable. We know that there are community justice strategies that work, interventions that help stop violence against women, and a world of drug and alcohol treatments that are not incarceration. All of these are a part of building an abolitionist society, one that does not need police, and that instead of focusing on punishing people for breaking the law, works towards public safety, and public good.
I say all this to let you know where I stand. Against racism, yes, but also against policing and police. And so this is the service that I offer to you. If you are not sure about abolishing the police, or defunding them, I am happy to talk about it with you. I wish, more than anything, to convince you to believe in an abolitionist future, and I will work with you to get there.
Anyway, this is a newsletter about food, remember? Here’s a recipe. I’ve made it a lot. It started as a recipe from Bon Appetit, and if you know me as a cook you know that I do not like most Bon Appetit recipes, because they are all pretentious and too much fucking work. If you haven’t read the Business Insider article about racism at BA I highly recommend it.
Anyway, this started as one of their recipes, but I have changed and improved it so much that I think it counts as mine now. I think you could easily make it vegan, just replace the three eggs with flax eggs, and it might work? I haven’t tried it because I don’t have flax meal only whole flax (why?! why do I have a huge bag of flax) and it’s too much work (impossible?) to make your own flax meal.
Breakfast blondies
INGREDIENTS
3 oz / 85 g / 6T Olive oil (6 Tbs. unsalted butter, plus more for pan)
100 g of walnuts/1 cup chopped nuts, such as walnuts, hazelnuts, and/or pecans (toasted is preferable)
194 g / 6.8 oz / ¾ cup creamy unsweetened almond butter (I used about 90 grams of peanut butter)
168 g / 1/2 cup honey or (the recipe originally called for “pure maple syrup” but fuck that, I’m not rich)
(2 Tbsp. flaxseed meal (I always leave this out because I don’t have flax meal, idk what it would do other than add something to get stuck in your teeth))
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. kosher salt
½ tsp. baking powder
3 large eggs (try flax eggs, ya vegan freaks!)
¼ cup, or one or two handfuls of chocolate chips (this is my own innovation)
RECIPE PREPARATION
Preheat oven to 350°. Line an 8x8" baking dish with a sheet of parchment paper, leaving an overhang on two sides. Grease parchment with butter.
If you have toasted nuts: brown your butter if you want, or just melt it. Idc. If you don’t have toasted nuts and want to ruin your day, here are the annoying instructions bon appetit provides
(Original BA recipe: “Cook nuts and 6 Tbsp. butter in a medium skillet over medium heat, swirling pan often, until butter foams, then browns, 5–6 minutes. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a large bowl; set aside nuts”
I followed these instructions the first time, and boy howdy, one thing I never want to do in the morning, as I am making breakfast, is get my STRAINER dirty.)
Final form: I’m going to try this with olive oil supplemented with a bit of toasted sesame oil, so I can avoid another dirty dish. (The sesame oil tastes too intense in the batter, and if you do not like toasted sesame, you might not like it, but baked, there is a hint of sesame that I found really nice.) Texturally, you miss nothing from doing it this way, I would not use butter again.
Add almond butter (I used a mixture of almond and peanut butter this time, because it’s what I had, again, worked perfectly), honey, (optional flaxseed), vanilla, salt, and baking powder to room temperature olive oil ( originally: hot brown butter) and whisk until smooth. Add eggs one at a time (I added them all at once, who cares!!), whisking to incorporate after each addition. Vigorously whisk batter until glossy and smooth, about 1 minute. Stir in all but about 3 Tbsp. reserved nuts (this is deranged, just save a handful, do not measure your nuts), and one big handful of chocolate chips. Scrape batter into prepared pan and spread in an even layer. Top with remaining nuts and chocolate chips.
Bake blondies until top is puffed and lightly browned and a tester inserted into the center comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, 18–22 minutes. Let cool. (closer to 40 minutes for me, because I have a glass pan. I hate my glass pan, if you have a hateful glass pan, expect this torment.)
Remove blondies from pan using parchment overhang. Cut into squares.
Do Ahead: Blondies can be baked 3 days ahead. Store tightly wrapped in plastic at room temperature. (put them in a tupperware, seriously, why is bon appetit LIKE THIS?)
This recipe is a great example of “Anything a famous BA chef can do, you can do better!” The original version got roughly ten MILLION dishes dirty, but if you have a scale you can do mine in ONE BOWL and it tastes EVEN BETTER because I added chocolate chips lol.
Anyways, eat breakfast, get out to a protest if your spirit leads you, but either way, build community with your neighbors, because we must have trust in our communities to really build an abolitionist society. Seriously, if you have doubts about abolition, I am happy to talk them through with you.