Emergency noodles
Not too long ago a friend came by after a work party. I wasn’t sure if she was eating at the work party, so I wound up not making enough dinner for her. I felt like a monster. Perhaps this has happened to you? Someone comes by, you ask “have you eaten?” and they say no, when you were expecting the answer to be yes. This is what I make in these Times of Crisis. Emergency noodles. Everyone has their own version of these, I think. This is sort of a mix between the Woks of Life version and one of the recipes (I forget which) from All Under Heaven, plus whatever I misremember from each. If this were a cookbook I’d use measurements, but it isn’t. They’re basically sesame noodles, or… are they peanut noodles? They’re the noodles you make when you need lunch now, or have no idea what to have for dinner, or worse, when you know that if you don’t eat dinner now you’ll be hungry at ten but you’re not that hungry, and that’s just annoying. This makes an indefinite quantity of noodles. It’s usually too much, but in case of emergency better too much than not enough. I use Chinese soup noodles for this, dried white noodles, flat, usually they’re about 1/4 cm wide? idk. I try to get the kind that doesn’t have added salt, because I don’t feel like I need salt added to the noodles, but sometimes all you can find are the salt added ones, which is fine.
Note: for measurements I am using the Big Ikea Spoon (you know the one, I think we all got it when we moved to Brooklyn.) Sometimes I use the soup spoon from my spoon and chopstick set and that works fine as well, so you can tell how un-serious I am about the amounts here. Think of it in terms of “sort of like a tablespoon” and “sort of like a teaspoon” you’ll be fine.
1 handful dried white noodles (you could say 8 ounces maybe????)
2 spoonfuls of well-stirred Chinese sesame paste (I guess you could use tahini but it’s quite different, because this is liquidy-er you’ll use two spoons, but slightly less of this than peanut butter)
1 large spoonful (heaping!) of peanut butter (chunky or smooth is fine, either works, this is probably close to a quarter cup, but again, never measuring)
1 small spoon of chopped garlic, or 1 large clove (or more if you like)
1 big spoon black vinegar
1 big spoon soy sauce (plus more later, probably)
1/2-1 big spoon chili goop + its oil (to your taste)
1 big spoon sesame oil
Pinch salt
Pinch MSG
A few pinches of sugar (or half the small spoon)
Optional but nice: a block or two of fermented tofu
Also optional but nice: chopped scallion, sesame seeds
Cook noodles. I sometimes follow the instructions on the package, and I sometimes don’t. While the noodles are cooking, add the ingredients to a mixing bowl, if using fermented tofu, mash until smooth. Add some of the cooking water (probably about a third a cup?), mixing until it’s a thick sauce. Add cooked noodles, directly from the pot if you can, just because it’s nice not to get out the strainer, and you want to be sure you have enough water left to loosen it up, mix well, add more noodle water if it’s too thick. Taste, see if you like the way it tastes, if not add a bit more soy sauce, vinegar, sugar, whatever it needs. If you have sweet soy sauce, that’s good here. If you don’t, that’s fine too.
People usually eat this and say “wow that’s a lot of noodles!” or “thanks for the noodles.” I’m never mad that I’ve eaten it, and it doesn’t make a mess or a lot of fuss. I might not really be selling this, but listen, they’re noodles in case of a noodle emergency. They get the job done.