Chocolate Earl Grey and Lavender Pie (vegan)
Someone recently referred to a dinner party that I attended as “friendsgiving” a word which makes me want to puke. Noah and I made this pie for that event, which is called elvesgiving and not friendsgiving. It’s a different thing. “Friendsgiving” sounds like you’re embarrassed about not traveling back to see your family at Thanksgiving, which isn’t something to be embarrassed about. Worse, it implies that “thanksgiving” or any holiday, is only the “real” version when you spend it with your natal family or your in laws. Whether or not you like thanksgiving (I do not like it, due in part to the strong association I have with it being when my dad was killed, this year it is in fact on his death anniversary) I think we can all agree that coming up with twee names that imply that spending a holiday with your friends is somehow different than doing a holiday “for real” sucks.
This pie was for elvesgiving which is a holiday separate from thanksgiving, in which we celebrate elves and elven foods. Even the staunchest thanksgiving despisers can get behind elvesgiving. It’s a great holiday that I recommend everyone try at least once. It is a holiday to celebrate wearing capes, and listening to our friend expound on the lore of Dungeons and Dragons and discuss how the dark elf thing is racist. It’s a holiday to eat foods that look like other foods. We wear ears and listen to the lord of the ring theme music, and also Bjork, because she seems like an elf. You can host your own! It’s easy. All you have to do is order a ton of elf ears (at least twice as many as the number of people you are expecting) from Sprit Halloween, and source a bunch of capes. It’s also useful to think about what else elves wear. Is Galadriel an elf? I’m not sure. But I think she had a sort of long drapey sleeve thing going on (I don’t remember those movies very well, they didn’t make a big impression on me, the only thing about them which did was the cut out of orlando bloom that was, for some reason, in the teen room at the Atlanta Friends Meeting along with a poster from the contemporary Joan of Arc show that was on like, the WB or something, those made an impact.) Whatever. What do elves wear? Maybe a sparkly headband. Forehead diamond. It’s a good opportunity to dress like you’re at a renn faire, so maybe a tit-forward but very long dress. An atrocious wig.
I invited my roommate who said that they thought elves were green (not sure why) and so brought a headband with green pom poms waving off the top. I think they were embarrassed to wear it so I did. Everyone said I looked like shrek.
You’re welcome to try these ideas for your next celebration of all things elf, and I would also recommend this pie which you can try for any dinner party, thanksgiving event, or elven gathering.
On to the pie. In life we have many questions. One of those questions might be “is this just the same pie recipe you shared before?” The answer, of course, is no. Definitely not. It is a different pie recipe because this one has tea in it, and also coconut milk. It is not the same pie. It has different flavors. Like lavender, and earl grey, and also chocolate. Three flavors, together, instead of just one.
Vegan Chocolate Earl Grey and Lavender Pie
1 tbs Twinings earl grey tea (if you use a nicer tea that isn’t made of dust you may wish for two tablespoons.)
1 cup coconut milk
10 oz dark chocolate, chopped
2 tbs cassis (delicious, really perfect, but elderflower liqueur or something would probably work too, we just didn’t have it)
340 grams of silken (or soft) tofu
2 tbs powdered sugar (more if you like a sweeter pie)
1/4 tsp fine sea salt or 1/2 tsp kosher salt whatever is on your counter
Lavender whip
Finely ground culinary lavender (or the lavender you got from your CSA last year)
Frozen non-dairy whip, thawed (or alternately try your luck with coconut whipped cream…. my nemesis. I wouldn’t, but you’re welcome to)
Vegan pie crust
You’re on your own here
Bake pie crust. Noah made one this time, I don’t know the recipe for it, but it tasted good. It used coconut oil and coconut milk, and it was extremely crumbly and difficult to work with. The end result was quite nice, but getting there was a trial. If you have a recipe that you like, feel free to use it. Left to my own devices I always will opt for a pie crust from the store because I am lazy and rolling out pie crust stresses me out. That being said: I did a great job with this one.
Bring coconut milk and tea to a high boil, you want it bubbling vociferously. Boil for a minute, turn off the heat and steep for 15 minutes. Strain, if you have a good method for that, use it. I put it through a regular sized seive, and then put what was left through a fine seive. It looked quite grainy, but did not taste grainy. This worked but was somewhat annoying. Cheese cloth would probably be the move. We wound up with about 2/3 or 3/4 of a cup of strong coconutty earl grey.
Finely chop chocolate, let tofu sit on a cloth to drain some of the water out. Get out your blender. In a heatproof and microwave safe bowl add the chocolate. Heat the tea up, boiling it high once again, pour over the chocolate. Let sit. The chocolate might melt all the way, it might not. If not put it in the microwave for 30 seconds, that should be sufficient.
Once it’s melted add all the pie ingredients to your very powerful blender, and blend until it’s all combined and fluffy. Add to pie crust, refrigerate. This actually needs remarkably little time to set, and it sets quite firm so it travels pretty well. You can let it sit at room temperature for half an hour or so before eating, but it’s fine straight from the refrigerator, which I know because I hacked a piece off before writing this.
Anyway, once it is ready to serve fold lavender powder into whipped cream, then put on top of pie. We really made a game effort with the coconut whipped cream, but we wound up getting perhaps a half cup of coconut whipped cream out of the can of coconut cream that we bought, which feels like a totally bum deal. I think that the vegan non dairy whip, despite being completely made of chemicals, works well. If you have strong feelings about this for some reason chase your bliss, I won’t stop you. We used about 1 tsp of lavender powder for the pie, which was surprisingly not overwhelming. I’d suggest tasting as you go to prevent a lavender menace.
NB: This pie lasts reasonably well (at least a few days in the refrigerator. I love it as a snack because it helps me get my macros in… all that protein…)