Anxiety spirals, a breakfast you can put in the freezer
How do you handle anxiety without letting it run over you?
I have a lot of anxiety. I have anxiety about almost everything, but because of, you know, the world, I have tons of anxiety about money, and about food. Food costs money. Is it more effecient (ugh) to eat out? To cook at home? What if I just ate an egg and cheese every day, then would it be cheaper to eat out? It's a boring thing to worry about, but unfortunately, anxiety is boring. I worry about things like: what if I left the gate at work unlocked? What if, because I can't sleep tonight, I am tired tomorrow? What if someone falls onto the subway tracks? What if my work isn't good enough? What if I'm not good enough? It's mundane, ordinary stuff. It is crushingly dull, and yet, and yet, and yet.
A fair amount of cooking I do is spurred on by this anxiety. I like to think that I cook because I enjoy it (and I do) but I also cook because I have several days a week when I am at work, and then at class, and don't get home until 10PM. Anyway, it's America, we live under capitalism, saying I'm anxious about money is boring, and trite, everyone is anxious about money.
This recipe is borne from anxiety. It exists completely because I get so worked up about the possibility of having to purchase food out (I bought coffee and a muffin last week because I ran out of my museli, and let me tell you.... I agonized over it). This is a recipe for...... a frozen breakfast quesedilla. It's pretty good! I like it a lot with soyritzo but you can put in sausage if you want. But the soyritzo is really very good.
What I'm reading:
An essay about "probiotic kimchi"
Were there trans people in the middle ages? I stumbled into this conversation, and found it to be really interesting. Were there X (black, gay, trans, whatever) people in the middle ages is a way that a lot of people get out their own biases (the answer is yes, to all) by pretending that diversity of gender, race, or sexuality is new. Anyway, this article by a mideavalist presents some interesting texts about trans people in the middle ages, something I'd never really thought about.
I'm in a digital humanities class this semester, and someone shared this project with us. This takes sound recordings made in 1920s New York City and pairs them with actual noise complaints that were filed. Poke around the website, it's very cool.
Highly Freezable breakfast quesadillas
This recipe is super adaptable. I'm putting this stuff in it, because it is what I had at home, and I am lazy. It is equally fine with: a box of spinach, peppers, onions, sausage of the veg or not veg variety (I like soyritzo for this)
Makes: 8-10?
8-12 eggs (I used 8, but if you want a higher egg to other stuff ratio, use more)
a splash of milk
a lot of pepper, and some salt (the soyritzo is salty, and the beans I had were sated, if you use unsalted beans, or no sausage, ADD MORE SALT)
3/4 cup soyritzo (again, arbitrary)
1 can rinsed and drained black beans
9-10 tortillas. I used a combination of burrito and ... large taco? sized? (10-12 inches maybe? I'm really not sure)
8 oz cheese, coarsely grated (I just had a block of cheese and used it)
Vegtables, if you want them. It's easy to add like, spinach to this
Salsa, if you so desire. It adds a nice bit of acidity
First, grate your cheese while you preheat your largest pan (I used my 12 inch all clad, if you have a smaller pan than this, maybe go for two batches). First, add oil, soyritzo has no oil in it, and will stick unless the pan is generously oiled. I usually use canola or some other neutral oil when I'm going with soyritzo. Next, plop in your sausage. If it's frozen (mine was... half frozen because happily found some fresh at the grocery store) then you'll have to work harder to break it up. NBD. Next, if you haven't drained and rinsed your beans, do that! Then, once your sausage is separated, shake the water out of your beans, and then dump those in. You may need to add more oil as this cooks.
Once the beans and sausage are hot, with your heat on medium high (mine was on medium low, my eggs stuck, now I have to scrape eggs off the pan with my fingernails do not be like me) add the eggs. Cook them? Idk you're making a ton of scrambled eggs, cook them however you'd cook eggs? I don't think you need me for this.
Okay, your eggs are cooked, scrape them into a bowl, and get ready to fold. You want to take a tortilla and fold it into a sort of... octangular deal? Watch this very funny video. I do eggs on the bottom, with salsa in the middle and cheese on top, I've found that helps it seal better. Do not put too much filling in, you want it to stay pretty in the center, with several inches of tortilla on the outside so you can seal it all the way.
Once you've folded all your quesedillas, heat a skillet to medium, and put some down, folded side down. They cook for about 4 minutes, but keep an eye on them. It's important for them to stiffen so that the stuff doesn't fall out. Once it is a level of brown that you like, put it on a cooling rack, and continue.
Let them cool all the way, and then wrap individually in foil, and stick them in a freezer bag.
To reheat: use a microwave for about 1:45, from frozen, or in the oven at 325 for about 20-30 minutes?
I know this is a boring one, but hey, sometimes I just Am Boring.